I’m fascinated with the apocalypse, both the Biblical version and the Hollywood one. My obsession with what will happen if and when we get to the End Time (or the end of time) is well-known to my family and friends, even if they don’t quite get why someone my age acts like a teenage groupie whenever a new apocalyptic book or movie comes out. To give you an idea of my interest in the subject, last week I read one book about an apocalypse caused by a government experiment gone wrong leading to the creation of a bunch of super vampires called virals; one book about an apocalypse caused by the genetic engineering of food resulting in the creation of a hybrid zombies; and watched a movie where angels descended from heaven to wipe out humanity because of God‘s bitter disappointment in mankind. Nightmares? Yeah, I have a few.
Even so, I get caught up in the whole apocalyptic speculation. If I’m the last one at work at night, I imagine what it would be like to walk outside and find a Stephen King “The Mist” situation or even a “Night of the Comet” scenario where everyone except me has turned to dust.
Or perhaps I will step outside and hear hoofbeats as the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gallop past (hidden by the mist, of course).
Bottom line, in all of the scenarios my overworked (and overwrought) mind creates, it is stunningly obstinate in the belief that I will survive. Survive in spite of my lack of ninja skills, firearms, food cache, and available lumber to cover my windows. And candles. I should mention I don’t have enough candles to survive a three-hour blackout let alone the end of the world.
Do any of these shortcomings compel me to act like a Mormon and start stockpiling food or act like a Doomsday Prepper and amass a gun collection? No. It doesn’t. I don’t prepare because, deep down, I don’t believe I can prepare. I’m too busy with the business of day-to-day life to prepare for the possibility of a to-be-determined catastrophe.
The world will end one day. There are any number of possible causes for life as we know it to be permanently derailed: floods, fires, famine, disease, to name a few. Without the reassurance of knowing how it will end, I’m not sold on the idea I can plan.
Think about it. If the world goes into an Ice Age, one set of survival skills and gear would be necessary. If the world entered a superheated Hot Age, one would need a different skill set and gear. A world devoured by zombies would pose different challenges than a world decimated by vampires. If Gabriel blows his trumpet and God lets all hell break loose, well, no amount of stockpiled guns or food is going to help me with that.
Do you understand my angst?
In the meantime there are so many other things that need preparing for, and many of them are more likely to happen. I need to prepare for my eventual retirement. I need to prepare for work. I need to prepare dinner. Sometimes just getting through each day is all I have the energy for. Much as I’d like to be more like a Boy or Girl Scout, so much of life springs upon me and I deal with it, unprepared, and it works out okay.
I trust the apocalypse will be the same.